Miranda (thinking): This is bad. I’ve practiced that lie . . . but Dad’s smart. If he guesses that Poe is a Being — that I’m the reason he lost track of the whereabouts of the Raven —

Cohen: Look, Miranda, I need to ask . . . Do you know where in this house to find the condoms?

Miranda: Oh my GOD, Dad.

Cohen: I’m not going to panic about my adult daughter having sex — I just need to know that you’re safe!

Miranda: I’m a trust fund baby with a credit card and the Internet. If I need condoms, I can get them! Besides, I’ve been on birth control for like five years! After you got custody, but while I was still a minor — didn’t you notice?

Cohen: I . . . Okay, I may have missed that. And you know that only protects against pregnancy, not —

Miranda: Yes. I know how STDS work! I’m twenty. If you wanted to be involved in teaching me about this stuff, you’re a little late.

Cohen: . . . Yeah. Look, this Poe guy — is he good to you?

Miranda: He dotes on me. The novelty hasn’t worn off
yet.