Stewart and Colbert screencap from Indecision 2008Cohen: “I just wanted a friend! Is that so much to ask? We’re expies/takeoffs of two characters the author loves who have been friends for years already! Why can’t we skip all the conflict and hurry up into the friendship part?”

Plus a tiny red-flag “Cohen is running through those bottles faster than he realizes” interlude.


Bennett: Unless you have someone watching the feed already . . .

Cohen: No. And after you leave, I can order the footage sealed or erased.

It’s just too bad you can’t give me what I really wanted.

Bennett: I don’t think you realize just how desperate I am right now. You have my career in your hands. My reputation. The entire rest of my life!

Cohen: The thing is — Goddammit.

(drip)

(CLUNK)

(Hmph.)

There we go.

The thing is, what I wanted was to like you.

I don’t have a lot of peers in this field. I can barely even find scientists who don’t get frustrated and give up after a few years. Not that I can blame them. They want to be in a field that’s going somewhere.

Even though you had a political reason to take a stand on Beings, I thought —

You acted like her happiness was important! When I didn’t realize you had any ulterior motives, that meant something.