Colbert with rainbow flagSo…all of Bennett’s reasons for trusting Cohen are objectively bad, huh.

He’s ultimately not wrong, but it’s for all the wrong reasons. He doesn’t have specific knowledge about Cohen loving Miranda — it’s just an assumption. Walker is hella untrustworthy, but that’s not because she’s a woman. (Hearing Cybele say that out loud might prompt Bennett to give it a little thought beyond the sexist reasons…)

And “I want to impress this person because I have a crush on them and want them to say nice things about me” is no guarantee that they’re trustworthy! Just…thirst-worthy.

Cybele: Reason one: Cohen has a daughter!

Bennett: Uh-huh . . .

Cybele: You know that men with daughters are all good and wonderful, and just want to make the world safe for their little girls.

Bennett: Oh, of course.

[Bennett’s Imagination]

Cybele: Reason two: Walker is a woman, and women are less likely to be trustworthy.

Bennett: Hey! That is a terrible, sexist thing to say.

Cybele: Oh! Is that why you don’t say it, you just think it?

Bennett: Are you sassing me?

Cybele: I am not emotionally capable of “sassing” you, boss.

Bennett: . . . Why don’t we just move on.

Cybele: Okay! Third reason you feel like doing what Cohen wants, more than Walker —

—- — ———- —– — —- —- —–

Bennett: WHAT.

Cybele: Yep! That’s the one I knew you weren’t going to like.

Bennett: Because it is NOT TRUE, that’s why!

Cybele: I’m obligated to agree with you if you order me to, boss!