But I'm A Cat Person

A more dramatic mini-flashback, and another instance of Cohen kinda-sorta trying to reach out…but then totally faceplanting when Miranda actually gives him an opening.

This, by the way, is an example of why Miranda’s original incarnation from The Eagle of Hermes is way better-adjusted! Her dad made the effort to learn to do her hair. (And they got built-in chunks of further bonding time while doing it.)

Miranda (thinking): The last time I got my hopes up was years ago . . .

Cohen (past): Hey, Miranda . . . your birthday’s coming soon, right?

Miranda (past): It’s tomorrow.

Cohen: Yes. Right! I knew that. I’m just making conversation! I have some presents ready, but I wanted to add something special — are you still into that Pokey Man thing?

Miranda: I’m too old for little-kid shows! . . . What I want is for someone to give my hair some real styling again, instead of just handing me a brush.

Cohen: Really? I can do that! I’ll have my secretary make a salon appointment this week.

Miranda: Oh.

Cohen: . . . I’ll have Patrick learn to do it?

Miranda: Whatever.

Cohen: Speaking of . . . I thought, if you wanted, I could let you see . . .

Cohen (present): . . . Patrick? I know y’ miss him.

I wish I hadn’t done the thing. Really wish I hadn’t. Th’ damn patch didn’t even take. Guess it doesn’t matter inna long run. Give ‘im a coupla lifetimes, he’ll forget all about it. But I’d take it back if I could. Take back a lotta things. With Patrick. An’ your mom. An’ you. Sooooo many things.

Miranda: Dad, how much have you been drinking?

Cohen: Lil’ bit. Did y’know, somma these wines taste a lot better when y’ mix ’em together?