Two baby birds, captioned: I see no reason why two chicks can't get marriedDog And Bird Are Friends(TM)

But seriously, all the professional advice I’ve read is that birds and dogs are a dicey combination, they should be introduced slowly if you want them to get along at all, and they definitely shouldn’t be left unsupervised and alone together. Don’t use these magical talking shapeshifters as your pet-handling model.

Sparrow: The dog’s name is Spot.

And the bird is . . . uh . . .

. . . Birdie!


Ms. Applebaum: Is it okay for the bird not to be in a cage? Won’t they fight?

Sparrow: Fight? No! They love each other!

The bird isn’t actually ours. We’re, uh, bird-sitting for a . . . friend.

Patrick: (AHEM)

Sparrow: But Spot is definitely Bianca’s!

Ms. Applebaum: Well, you’re certainly going against the stereotype.

Unless there’s something you want to tell me?

Sparrow: Don’t worry, Mom . . . Bianca’s still a librarian.

. . . and I’m still gay.

Ms. Applebaum: You know I would still support you with a different lifestyle, right?

Sparrow: Yes, Mom.

Poe: (whistle)

Patrick: (tap tap)

Sparrow: Well, let’s hurry up and get to that shopping trip!

Ms. Applebaum: What’s the rush?

Sparrow: Just trying to be proactive! Time and groceries wait for no one!

Ms. Applebaum: Can I at least help you fix your armchair first?

Sparrow: Later!