Fanfic Flamingo captioned 'My id is showing, no one will read this / 79 kudos, people ask for a sequel'“Fellas, is it gay if a guy invites you out to dinner and then offers to split a chocolate dessert?”

Poor Cohen, all his brain cells are trying to keep up with the Patrick-related subtext and the suspected Cybele-related subtext and multiple bottles of wine. He doesn’t have any extra bandwidth for “relentless self-policing for unimpeachable vibe of straightness.”

Bennett, meanwhile, has at least 20% of his brain fully dedicated to Frantically Keeping It Straight at all times.

Cohen: Hah! Maybe you don’t know so much after all. But at least your heart’s in the right place.

Bennett: Look, I know it’s not possible! I mean, not without killing the guy, which is obviously overkill.

Bennett (thinking): I wouldn’t have risked giving you the idea if it were easy!

Bennett: But you said ‘ideal’, so I gave you–

Cohen: Did we finish the bottle already?

Bennett: No, that was mostly you.

Just water for me.

Waiter: Coming right up! Now, can I interest either of you gentlemen in some dessert?

Bennett: Mr. Cohen, I’m glad I could impress you with my research.

I’m sure that means I can count on your support for this bill of mine tracking Beings. Exactly as-is. In fact, I’m sure you’ll insist on not changing a word–

Cohen: Oh, I don’t know about that. Do you want to split a caramelized chocolate tart?

Bennett: What?

Cohen: Well, I’ll never finish the whole thing on my own.