When the security guard keeps following you around like the Twix you're holding is out of your budget

This was inspired by a news story, can’t for the life of me find it now, about some shockingly-rich black celebrity getting followed around in a store. (…by suspicious security guards, I mean, not by fans.)

Miranda has buckets of money, but she won’t be spending any of it on the jewelry here, I can tell you that much.

(16-year-old Miranda)

Guard: Stop right there, young lady! What are you doing in this store?

Miranda: Shopping.

Guard: A likely story! How would you pay for any of this?

Miranda: My dad runs an international media conglomerate with a net worth greater than the gross domestic product of Luxembourg.

Guard: . . .

. . . in my defense, you are black.

Miranda: Wow. Can’t argue with ironclad logic like that.