decorative hand soapsAdventures of Sparrow in Retail.

I’ve already talked about how I thought there would be more IRL-inspired workplace humor with the characters’ jobs, right? But the comic moved too slowly, none of my jobs lasted long enough, I barely had a chance to maneuver the character into somewhere before I was working somewhere else.

So this is basically the only true-to-life joke I managed to wring out of That Holiday Season I Worked At A Department Store. (This, and the time Sparrow had a whole dream sequence forced on her by the awful mall holiday soundtrack…)

Customer: Excuse me! Do you work here?

Sparrow (thinking): Uh-oh, she’s going to ask a question. This place is huge, and I’ve only worked here for a week. I don’t know anything yet!

Is there a changing room on this floor? Um, probably, but I don’t clean it, so I haven’t seen it. Can I recommend a nice brand of decorative soap? I can’t afford any of the decorative soaps, let alone compare them. Which way are the cardigans? I just folded ten cardigans, I know they’re here somewhere, but I still have no idea. It’s not like they train us! They just toss us out onto the sales floor, and assume we’ll pick up everything we need as we go. I am less than useless. Do not ask me anything. I will be shot-in-the-dark guessing, you’d have just as much luck doing the same thing yourself!

Sparrow: I sure do! What can I help you with?

Customer: Which way is the exit?

Sparrow: Go straight down that aisle, turn left at the registers.

Customer: Thank you! You’ve been so helpful.