Jesus doing a yoga poseAll the reliable sources are completely blank on what Josh was up to between ages 12 and 30. “A trip to the Mid-to-Far-East” emerged as a popular theory around the late 18th century.

…and I definitely included it here because of how much I liked it in Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Friend.

Which I read long-enough ago to start worrying “what if this had problems I didn’t notice at the time, and if I revisited it today, it wouldn’t hold up?” If you’ve read it more recently — or if you just generally like Sassy Jesus Fanfiction and are going to go check it out now — please drop a comment and give us a report.

María: Maybe the dream was some kind of premonition. When you leave for this trip, you’ll leave me behind, and I’ll never catch up with you again.

Josh: Why don’t you come along? It’s a journey to the Indies, not the heavens. If you change your mind, you can come back. And there’ll be work for a scribe, I’m sure!

María: Oh, I couldn’t! An unmarried woman, on the road with a group of men who aren’t her family? Think what people would say!

Unless this is your way of making me an offer…

Josh: Now, María, you already know why I can’t do that.

María: Right…Because you still think you have that destiny.

Josh: I can’t help it if the Lord has chosen me for greatness! All I can do is keep myself pure and try to live up to His calling!

María: (SIGH.)