Q. To Bennett: What was married life like? How did you meet your wife and end up married to her?

Bennett: We met in high school. Were both in the Young Conservatives. Went to prom together, and then got married, because that’s what you do, right? That’s what normal people do.

Married life was great, except for all the fighting, which sitcoms have taught me is also perfectly normal for heterosexual couples! And they say if you have a relationship problem, the best way to fix it is by getting pregnant — so we did, uh, that. Then there was a car crash and she lost the baby and we got divorced and I don’t want to talk about this anymore.