Chapter 23 p24 – Coming out of the wrong closet
Me every time I give Miranda a complicated hairstyle with a dozen flat twists: “This is an easy page, it’s just faces, it won’t take long at all…”
Cohen: Poe? The guy you’re dating?
Cohen (thinking): She’s not pregnant, is she?? She said they were having safe sex — but, well, so were her mom and me — What if he proposed? What if they’re getting married? Oh god, I’m not ready for —
Miranda: Yeah, that Poe. Thing is . . . we’re not dating. Or having sex. It’s just easier if people think we are. Less to explain, you know? Keeps people from asking . . . certain questions.
Cohen: . . .
!!
Are you saying he’s a beard? That you’re — I thought you and that Sparrow girl seemed awfully close —
[PFFFFT]
[KOFF koff KOFF KCHHKK WHEEEZE haaah]
Cohen: Are you okay? Should I call someone?
Miranda: I’m [hack] I’m’a be okay in a sec [gasp]
Cohen: Was that about the bearding part, or the —
Miranda: I am NOT dating SPARROW.
Nope, too late, I’m shipping it, no turning back now Mandy
At the point Poe is the Raven is less of a shocker than the conclusions Cohen is jumping to.
… they are not having sex? How? I got the impression beings are very good at being what their master needs in this regard and Miranda doesn’t seem to have issue with being’s free will, I would expect she would regard him as sex toy …
Have we ever seen evidence that Miranda even has a sex drive? Her relationship with Poe is much more of an owner/pet than anything else, and her desire for Patrick likewise has absolutely no sexual components. She needs to get over her daddy/abandonment issues before she can look anywhere near a relationship.
That’s why I’m talking about sex and not relationship. But yes I guess she may not need any.
Just because she could doesn’t mean she does.
Can someone please explain to me what “a beard” is? I am utterly confused by this turn of conversation.
A “beard” in this context is a term for “I’m gay, but I’m not ready to come out. may I introduce you, my opposite-gender friend as my significant other to keep the parents off my back?”
It used to be that, if you were a gay celebrity (an actor, a musician, etc), you would try to keep yourself safe from harassment by appearing as straight as possible. For a man, that means looking as stereotypically masculine as possible, so you might grow a beard. And, of course, you’d try to have a girlfriend.
So “beard” became a euphemism for the fake girlfriend who helps a guy look straight. And now it’s used more generally, for any gay person’s fake-straight partner.
Thank you, her reaction makes much more sense now.
Wouldn’t it be “straight fake-partner” instead of “fake-straight partner”?
Nah, gay & bi people can still beard for each other.