Me every time I give Miranda a complicated hairstyle with a dozen flat twists: “This is an easy page, it’s just faces, it won’t take long at all…”

Cohen: Poe? The guy you’re dating?

Cohen (thinking): She’s not pregnant, is she?? She said they were having safe sex — but, well, so were her mom and me — What if he proposed? What if they’re getting married? Oh god, I’m not ready for —

Miranda: Yeah, that Poe. Thing is . . . we’re not dating. Or having sex. It’s just easier if people think we are. Less to explain, you know? Keeps people from asking . . . certain questions.

Cohen: . . .


Are you saying he’s a beard? That you’re — I thought you and that Sparrow girl seemed awfully close —


Cohen: Are you okay? Should I call someone?

Miranda: I’m [hack] I’m’a be okay in a sec [gasp]

Cohen: Was that about the bearding part, or the —

Miranda: I am NOT dating SPARROW.