Miranda: Better take this. Dad’s trying to check in. For once.

Friend #1: Isn’t he, like, on the West Coast this month or something? Again?

Friend #2: As long as he left you one of the credit cards.

Miranda: I’ll get rid of him. Be right back.


I’m out with some friends. Yes, I know you’re back in town!

Look, I got along fine without you for the first ten years of my life. I don’t need you to start smothering me now.

Miranda (thinking): Ugh, what do you think you can say? “Sorry for making Patrick cry”? It won’t bring him back!

And nothing at all will bring Mom back. I’m running out of people . . .