Scheduling, what even is that.

Coming up next on But I’m A Cat Person: a historical interlude, starring a Being never yet seen. (Although maybe some of you will guess….)


Reporter: With 86% of the vote counted . . .

Emma: This is weird, Bee, you know that?

Bianca: Of course! It’s been my life for half a year now — I’ve noticed! And if there was a way to end the Contract and let him become an Independent Being, I would do it, but —

Patrick: What?!

Reporter: . . . we’re prepared to call this election. The winner is . . .

Bianca: Don’t panic, Patrick, I’m telling her how it’s not even possible —

Patrick: Yes! Yes, you could, you could! But don’t do it, don’t make me do it, it hurts, Master, please —

Bianca: Are you hyperventilating, because I also did not know that was possible —

Patrick: — don’t do it, don’t, don’t, don’t —

Reporter: . . . Dana Wells!

Sparrow: All right!! Bennett is OUT! Now I’ll never have to hear about him again.