Cybele: Are you here for the debate? Which candidate are you supporting?

Sparrow: Dana Wells, obviously. Bennett is terrible.

Cybele: Oh? Why’s that?

Sparrow: Where to start? He hates poor people. He thinks it makes sense to spend billions defending the country from terrorists and Beings but no money defending from cancer and potholes. He’s sexist, he’s homophobic, he’s racist —

And he —

Cybele: I don’t think he’s racist!

Sparrow: . . . Uh . . .

. . . look, I appreciate that it would be obnoxious of me to argue with you about this, so I’m not gonna try.

[Has tried it before. It didn’t go well.]

Sparrow: But it’s not possible for me to agree with every person of color at once, so I’m going to keep agreeing with the ones who disagree with you, okay? Okay.

Cybele: If you want!

[Is not an actual black person.]

Cybele (thinking): Weird . . . the boss said it’d stump liberals if I said that when I looked like this. Maybe she’s not a “liberal”?