Chicago, late 1980’s.

Applicant 1: Thank you so much for approving this, Ms. Walker! Being research is so niche and so expensive, I was starting to think I’d never find a grant.

Walker: None of the terms are going to be a problem?

Applicant 1: All your terms are fine! At this point I’d practically agree to give up my firstborn child if you asked, hahaha!

Walker: Hmm . . .

Applicant 1: . . . We both know that was a joke, right?

Chicago, early 1990’s.

Applicant 2: Ma’am, this is an extremely generous offer, and I would be honored to work with the Walker research team . . . but when I look at your terms, they’re a lot less accommodating than what the Cohen package is offering.

Walker: . . . Would you be so kind as to step outside for a moment? I need to make a phone call.

His offer is up to how much? What, exactly, are his assets these days? . . . Is that all? Pick one of my shell corporations and go buy him out. Yes, I know that broadcasting is not in our five-year plan!

Neither is my beach house in Barbados. Sometimes you have to treat yourself.