Oscar the Grouch in shades, labeled: Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It is called garbage can, not garbage cannot.Trash Patrick was, of course, not “Patrick” at this point — but as mentioned, I never decided what he was called pre-Cohen, and it doesn’t seem helpful to come up with a whole separate tag just for a brief nameless appearance.

One of the few instances of (censored) swearing in the dialogue, which raises the question…whose memory is this? Whose POV is doing the censoring, and for whose benefit?

I don’t have a canon Right Answer in mind for this, I just like the implication of layers.

I also like the dramatic perspective in that last panel! Nice job, Past Self.

Partygoer #1: Tough luck, buddy!

Partygoer #2: Better luck next year!

Cohen: Real witty, fellas.

Cohen (thinking): Okay, not the best start, but what the hell. She was probably boring anyway.

At least I’m not desperate enough yet to tell Mom she can finally introduce me to her cousin’s hairdresser’s handyman’s niece.

Even if we do both like dogs —

— oh #### there’s a dead body in the garbage. This is what I get for trying to be an optimist.